embracing the fifth wheel
I've been thinking about connecting with people, and the idea of being vulnerable and putting yourself out there. Being open and honest and showing up every day takes courage, bravery, and energy. Being vulnerable is just as terrifying as you leave yourself susceptible to being judged, and you feel just naked and raw. Mostly naked. Best case scenario is that you find someone who accepts you fully - flaws, rawness and all. Worse case scenario is that you find out that you don't matter to someone as much as you thought you did.
I witnessed someone take a risk today, and it was inspiring to watch as the day turned from nice into something quite magical. She chose to take that one extra step, and joined me for a hike with another friend of mine (and her dog). Jokingly saying that she felt like a fifth wheel (I had my dog too), she came with an open heart and an open mind, and the attitude that something great would come out of it. And it did.
It was one of those magical light-up-tumbleweed days where everything seemed just to perfectly fall in line. One of those big bang moments where two of your worlds come together and it just connects. Strangers become friends, and friends become better friends. And then suddenly you feel a little less alone as we all continue to just fumble around this vast space we call life.
I'd like to think that the more vulnerable you are, the stronger you eventually get to just let it all go. Like a hermit crab leaving its shell. You never quite know what you're going to get when you just lay it all out there. Sometimes the best thing that comes out of it is the self realization of - "at least I really tried." But more often when it all settles, and you take a step back, you'll find yourself somewhere amazing.