Bhutan is Buddhist country embedded in the Himalayas, with a population of about 720,000 people. The Bhutanese landscapes are breathtaking, and the culture is magically unique - especially given its location between China and India. In order to control tourism and also help the country, the Bhutanese government requires visitors to pay a daily tariff, and to travel the country with a government approved tour operator. We traveled with Breathe Bhutan, a small family owned company, and we had a fantastic time learning and exploring Bhutan, while also getting to know our private guide and driver. I went home happy and grateful having learned so much about the country (especially compared to what we would have read in a book), and knowing we had connected and made some true friendships that would extend country borders.

My list of memorable moments:

COMPASSION Bhutan doesn’t have traffic lights or stop signs, and the maximum speed limit in the country ranges from 30 km/h to 50 km/h. Thus, we spent a decent amount of time driving these windy roads between cities, but it was so enjoyable because I’d look out the window and see these beautiful prayer flags around every corner. In Bhutan, you can legally hang prayer flags wherever you want, and I was reaping in the benefits. I loved the vibrant colors and life they brought to the countryside, and loved them even more after learning the spirt behind them. Our guide taught us that prayer flags promote peace, compassion, strength, and wisdom. On auspicious days, people hang the flags where the wind can catch them, and the belief is that the wind will blow the prayers and mantras to all of the people and animals the wind touches.

KARMA While we were in Phunkah Valley, we went on a short hike between some farms on our way up to Khamsum Yulley Namgyal Chorten, which was built by the Queen Mother. After picking up as much litter as we could along the way, we got to the top and Namgay (our guide) congratulated us, saying that we did three good things already. “Saw a religious sight, got some exercise, and helped the environment." This chorten is unique because you can go inside, and there is is specular display of the bardos. We learned about bardos for the first time, and how it is believed to take at least 49 days to travel from one life to the next. In order to pass quickly to the next life, a person must learn to not fear the bardos (there are some good bardos, and some evil bardos). However, it was on our way down that made the trip extra special. We passed by this farmer selling guavas, and the entire trip I was tempted to try the local fruit. So our guide Namgay picked out some guavas for us, but then we realized that none of us had small bills to pay him with. Namgay and this farmer exchanged some words, and then we seemed to be off on our merry way. When we asked Namgay what just happened, he said the farmer told him that he could pay him later. As we walked back to the car (and for weeks later), I was just thinking how this exchange never would have occurred in the States. In the States, the goods would have been returned if no money was exchanged, and that was it. That would have been the end of the story. However, we weren’t in America, and this was seemingly another example of how Bhutanese people practice everyday Buddhism, and believed in karma and compassion.

DINING OUT While we were Thimphu, our guide Namgay took us to one of his favorite local restaurants (Zombala Restaurant) for lunch. The food was absolutely delicious, and we quickly filled up on deep fried momos and noodle soup. Naturally conversations about the “eating out” culture came up, and we learned that families didn’t eat at restaurants very much. “Why go out for Bhutanese food when you can cook it at home?” We learned how families like to eat together, and plus you can cook what you like to eat. Later after doing some rough math and estimation, we learned that our lunch would have been about 1% of an average monthly salary and a non-Bhutanese meal would have easily been 50% of an average monthly salary. So much of the American culture is based on the “to go” mentality, and “more is better” that I feel like I often get stuck in the rat race of working more to buy more, etc. I got the sense that Bhutanese people or the culture is more grounding, and its built into the culture to take a beat and settle down. To see what really matters.

FORCE TO RECKON WITH We spent New Years Eve in the city of Thimphu, and went to the Breathe Bhutan tour operator’s bar in town called Mojo Park. We quickly learned that this was the place to be in town (for NYE or not), as it was packed. It was awesome - good size, perfect ambience, great live music, beers on tap and by the bottle. As expected, combine a bunch of tourists on holiday, alcohol, and fantastic live music - people were having a good time. However, eventually some people in the front started standing up on the table blocking the view to the people in the back, and that’s when the owner stepped in. I watched him as he kindly asked these people to come off the table, until he came to one larger gentleman who didn’t want to come down. Watching from a few feet back (so I couldn’t hear anything), I could see this moment of escalation when the owner’s expression change from “nice” to “firm” and mouth “get the f*ck down”. The gentlemen got down from the table, and the tension dissipated, and then the owner moved on. When the owner came back to join us he had a smile on his face. I remember him saying that he didn’t blame them. How were they supposed to know they were doing something wrong if you don’t tell them? Given that he was the owner, I was very surprised with his empathetic response. Again, one of those moments where I really reminded that I wasn’t at home. My emotion would have been closer to frustration or anger, but I was reminded that there are other ways to react to a situation you cannot control.

108,000 TREES Bhutan is a constitutional monarchy, and their constitution mandates that 60% of their land must remain undeveloped. Recently learning more about the environment and conservation, I was impressed when Namgay told us that the Fifth King planted 108,000 trees for his last birthday. Trying to also do our part, we picked up as much trash and recycling as possible wherever we went hiking. It was also great chatting with Namgay about how Bhutan handles its trash and recycling, and how Breathe Bhutan was also looking into how they could be a more eco-friendly tour operator. We were also impressed to discover that our last hotel, Bhutan Spirit Sanctuary, was “plastic free” with bamboo toothbrush, no plastic water bottles, and toothbrush tablets.

COMMUNITY VITALITY We went to visit the Gangtey Monastery, which overlooked the Phobjikha Valley. When we got there, we saw a handful of people (and some children running around) sitting cross-legged on the floor waiting for the monks to serve them food. At first I thought that maybe they came to the monastery for food, however our guide was quick to tell us that these were other people from the village who were helping with the monastery’s construction, and they were all taking a break for lunch. We were witnessing the strong culture of community vitality in Bhutan, which is one of the inputs into the famous Bhutanese Gross National Happiness. It was common for people to help other neighbors sow their crops and help build their homes, and in exchange, the “host” would feed their neighbors.

FRIENDSHIP We stayed in Bhutan for about nine days, and spent all of it with our guide Namgay Rinchen and our driver Pema. While we were out on a hike with Namgay maybe on day five or six, to our horror we discovered that we had been incorrectly calling our driving “Bema” the entire time! And neither of them corrected us! Namgay just laughed, and without skipping a beat said “we Bhutanese people sometimes get bored of our names, so it is nice to hear our names pronounced differently.”

While we were in Phobjikha Valley, we ended our hike with a picnic in the valley. It was pretty windy, but we found a perfect spot to set up some chairs and a table and laid out our spread. I served out some rice for all four of us, and then started digging in. Then Pema silently came back over to the rice bowl, and dished out maybe three times more rice than I had served, and then started adding the other dishes on top of the rice. Seeing my expression of embarrassment mixed with confusion, Namgay was quick to diffuse the situation saying, “No problem, we Bhutanese people eat a lot of rice”. A nugget, but one of my favorite gems of the trip.

Another favorite moment was also during that picnic, when we learned that Pema (at this point in time we were still calling him Bema) could understand and speak English! Namgay translated for us saying that Pema could speak some English, but it was stuck inside him. I definitely understood that feeling of feeling too intimidated to converse in a non-native language, especially with native speakers. So we tried to encourage Pema practice his English with us for the rest of the trip. Luckily he was up for it and felt comfortable to share with us - we learned so much more about his background, his family, and how he has learned English while being a driver.

Throughout out trip we exchanged stories and thoughts about the environment, job opportunities, travel, and different ways of life. We discussed our families, business, raising kids, raising kids with technology (or “screens”). After nine days of immersing ourselves in this new country and culture, we loaded up our bags with prayer flags, and left with new ideas and friendships for life.