becoming more aware
I had just ordered my drip coffee when we both saw her definitely cut the line. To put it bluntly, there was an older South Asian woman behind me waiting to order, when this younger caucasian woman seemingly came out of nowhere and ordered her beverage. There was that moment of indecision where both the woman in line and I debated saying something. I disliked the fact that this scenario seemed to so easily fall into that stereotypical “young blonde American girl” takes advantage of the “older minority immigrant female”. I vaguely remember hearing a noise come out of the other woman’s mouth, but she didn’t officially verbalize anything. But the opportunity to say something quickly seemed to pass, and the only thing to do was to let it go.
While I waited for my coffee, I took this moment assess the situation. Others might call it judging, which would also be accurate. The “cutter” was maybe in her late 20s or early 30s, with long “rockstar” blonde hair and she was wearing a black top and torn / distressed black jeans. She had her Apple AirPods in, and she quickly pulled out her phone as she waited for her drink. To be fair, she seemed in a hurry - maybe she was late to a meeting, but I didn’t hear her say “please” or “thank you” to the barista (clearly poor manners). She seemed to have an air of “i-don’t-give-a-fuck” that morning.
My eventual read on the situation was that she likely wasn’t entitled, she was just unaware.
More and more I see people walking through the streets (or crossing the streets) with their phones out (zombie walkers) or both AirPods plugged in, seemingly engaging with the world less. A few years ago, I remember walking around the park during a Pokemon GO raid, and it really felt like the zombie apocalypse had arrived. Everyone was so plugged into their devices, walking - very - slowly.
I’m definitely guilty of doing this as well - walking while checking Instagram, or checking my email. It makes me sad when I’m at a restaurant, and I see a table where everyone is on some electronic device. Or when someone is standing outside on their phone, while holding a dog leash (and dog) in one hand. My tipping point was when I realized that when I took out my phone, my dog would stop trying to play with me and would go to his bed.
After 20 years of my dad reminding / encouraging / nagging / advising me to meditate, I finally was in a stage of my life where I wanted to meditate. I felt like I needed to meditate. I’ve been using Headspace, and going through their Basic guided meditations, learning about how to try to live in the present moment, and letting go. Over the past year or so, I’ve definitely starting feeling more anxious, likely due to stress and a number of other factors. But as I embark on my meditation endeavors, I feel myself learning how to slow down a bit. I’ll admit most of the time I end up nodding off, but I’m learning to be kinder to myself, and sit and notice what is going on around me.
