double the love: double the prep - real talk about getting ready for twins

Expecting twins? Congratulations! While the thought of two little bundles of joy is incredibly exciting (and terrifying, depending what stage of processing you’re at) it also comes with its own unique set of considerations. To help you feel more prepared for their arrival, I wanted to share some of the things I learned and experienced firsthand while getting ready for my twins.

For context, our elder was 26 months when our di/di twins were born. They were born a little over 37 weeks, and just over 5 pounds each. They were both small gestational age (SGA).

My Experience: Considering a C-Section

When I was expecting my twins, having had a vaginal delivery with my first child, I really hoped to deliver them vaginally as well. My doctor explained that this might be possible if certain criteria were met: Baby A needed to be head down, and Baby B's head circumference had to be smaller than Baby A's (in case they needed to do a breached extraction). However, as my pregnancy progressed, we discovered that my twins were in a "T" position – Baby A was head down, but Baby B was lying horizontally. Additionally, Baby B's measurements turned out to be larger than Baby A's.

While weighing my options and discussing potential risks with my doctor, what really solidified my decision to opt for a C-section was the idea of potentially delivering Baby A vaginally and then needing a C-section for Baby B. Apparently, some doctors refer to this as a "vag-abdominal" or "vagominal" delivery. The thought of healing from both a vaginal delivery and a subsequent C-section seemed more difficult and painful than a planned C-section alone.

In the end, I was so glad I chose a C-section. Baby B was indeed larger, and thankfully, my recovery was very smooth. I might go so far as to say it was a smoother (and quicker) recovery than my vaginal delivery. I decided to just take Tylenol and Advil for pain, and by day four I felt pretty much back to normal and like I could pick up my toddler. Anecdotally, it also seems that the recovery from a “planned” or "urgent" (as mine was called) C-section is often easier than that of an “emergency” C-section.

It's crucial to have a detailed conversation with your own doctor about the potential risks and benefits of both vaginal and Cesarean delivery in your specific situation. Every twin pregnancy is unique, and your medical team will be able to provide the most personalized and safest recommendations for you and your babies.

Get Them on the Same Schedule (Eventually!)

Every twin parent told me to try to get the babies on the same schedule, and almost four months postpartum, it's mostly working during the day! My boys have a similar daytime eating and sleeping rhythm. At night, I still feed them separately as they naturally wake up, with one often sleeping longer stretches than the other. During the day, if one wakes up first, I try to keep him happily awake for as long as he'll tolerate, and then I'll wake the second one up when the first one needs to eat. I've also found it's okay to feed the first one and let the second one sleep for an extra 30 minutes before waking him. This approach has helped us establish a general morning and evening routine, which gives us some precious hours in the evening to clean up and reset for the next day.

Tandem Breastfeeding: A Learning Curve

I knew I wanted to try to breastfeed before having the twins and did a lot of research on how to do it. Tandem breastfeeding seemed like the most efficient way, so I started trying it (both babies in a football hold) right in the hospital. I brought my Twin Breast Friend nursing pillow with me, and the nurses were incredibly helpful in getting us set up. Interestingly, multiple nurses mentioned that they had never seen a twin mom attempt this in the hospital before, so it doesn't seem to be the norm. However, this early practice and support gave me the confidence I needed before going home. In addition the hospital had a lactation consultant come by with helpful pointers. Having breastfed my first child definitely gave me a foundation and the confidence I needed. When we got home, the twins were still so small (with no neck control) so I still needed a lot of support to set them up to feed. However, I think by the time they were almost 2 months I got the hang of it, and could wrestle with them and set up feeds by myself.

(Reminder: My di/di twins were born a little over 37 weeks, and they were just over 5 pounds each.) Tandem nursing them in those early days was definitely a learning curve! I quickly discovered, somewhat unexpectedly, that one of my nipples is significantly larger than the other. It turned out that one of my twins could open his mouth wider than his brother. As a result, for a while, each twin had their "assigned" boob that they latched onto best, until they grew a bit bigger and their mouths were able to manage latching on either side. Now that they are bigger, I primarily use the double football hold when nursing them together.

Lining Up the Help: A Village Makes All the Difference

We were preparing for our twins to arrive a bit early, around 33 weeks, and we were incredibly fortunate to have my mother-in-law come stay with us for a month. Our twins ended up arriving at 37 weeks (avg seems to be 36-37 weeks for twins), but it worked out so she had some dedicated time to learn our toddler's routine before she needed to watch him solo when we were at the hospital, which was so helpful.

We amazingly had built-in support from grandparents for the first two months of their lives. My husband also took two months of paternity leave at this time as well. This parental coverage during those early months was invaluable. The grandparents would get our toddler up and ready for school, which was a huge help since I was often feeding the newborns simultaneously. My husband would either be assisting me or catching up on sleep after helping during the night. Throughout the day, it was a rotation of adults helping me with the babies (and our dog!). When my toddler got home from daycare, my husband or the grandparents would take point playing with him, while I tried to play while I could. My husband took on the toddler's bedtime routine because he could better navigate our toddler's big emotions than the grandparents.

Meal Planning: Embrace the Support!

As I mentioned in a previous post, we were so lucky to have friends set up a meal train for us! It was an absolute lifesaver since we were constantly exhausted and didn't have the energy to cook elaborate meals. For the first couple of months, our diet consisted mainly of simple meals, Trader Joe's finds, frozen foods, takeout, and the delicious meals our friends and neighbors generously provided.

If you're looking to set up a meal train, it's a great idea to create a list of people you feel comfortable emailing. Let them know your dietary preferences, when you'd like the meal train to start, the desired frequency of meals, and whether you'd prefer them to drop off the food or stay for a bit. There's a fantastic and easy-to-use service called mealtrain.com that can help you organize this.

Nursing: Purchase a Twin Z Pillow (Trust Me!)

Multiple twin parents highly recommended the Twin Z Pillow to me before my boys arrived, and I wholeheartedly agree with them! I use this pillow constantly for tandem nursing, and it's also fantastic for propping up the twins safely. It's equally useful for tandem bottle-feeding and even for tummy time sessions. It's definitely a worthwhile investment.

Will Your New Family Fit Into Your Car? A Necessary Consideration

This might seem straightforward, but really think about the logistics of transporting two babies plus any other children you might have. We already had a toddler, so we were specifically looking for a car that could comfortably fit a toddler car seat and two Nuna Pipa infant car seats. A popular resource for checking car seat compatibility is The Car Seat Lady's website (https://thecarseatlady.com/vehicles/3-across/). Initially, I was hesitant about getting a minivan, but after a lot of research, we ultimately decided that it was the most practical and safest option for our growing family. I have to say, I've been very happy with our minivan!

Don't Forget the Diapers (Double the Trouble, Double the... Volume!)

One thing that truly hit us in the first week or two was the sheer volume of diapers! Newborns typically go through 10-12 diapers a day – now multiply that by two! We quickly realized that our regular-sized trash can was no match for this level of output. Instead of immediately upgrading our trash can, we decided to explore a more eco-friendly and space-saving solution: compostable diapers. We found a fantastic service called ReDyper SF (referral link) that delivers their compostable diapers and wipes to our doorstep and picks up the soiled ones for composting. This has been a game-changer for managing the diaper situation and aligns with our values.

Other things to think about would be finances (and financial planning - some tips), childcare support (if you opt for daycares, get on the list early since you’ll be taking up two spots), and start developing an open communication with your partner (some tips).

Almost four months into raising twins, it's undeniably a special experience. While it can be chaotic, the abundance of baby coos, giggles, and snuggles makes every bit of the journey incredibly worth it.